Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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