Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
