So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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