Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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