Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
