Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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