I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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