You're so nebulous sometimes
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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