Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
