He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
