hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize