You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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