When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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