their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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