your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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