Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
