Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My feet surprised me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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