Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize