break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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