and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
