he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
