return my video game
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
