don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
