Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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