I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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