If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
