He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
