I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
