I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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