I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize