I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
