he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
