His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
