saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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