so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
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Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
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I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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