I have demons in me.
you would pick up someone in the library
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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