Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
