I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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