everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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