It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
