Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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