I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize