in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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