oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize