Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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