batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
