her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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