physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the condom got lost in my hair
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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