First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
