a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
