I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
