I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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