**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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