i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
